This just in – human DNA more closely resembles rat DNA than cat DNA. So all you cat people…. are really rat people. Hahaha!

Of scientific importance: Junk DNA, or what is now termed junk DNA, seems to be important, because it stays almost exactly the same through many animal species.

Visit Bali, yall. Yeah, they were bombed, but we don’t stop visiting New York and Washington now, do we? Many airlines fly straight to Bali; its people are great and actually accept the tourists, treating them with warmth and respect; they perform their religious rites and live their lives under close scrutiny from visitors without batting an eye; and now – their livelihoods are being ruined by a slump in tourism after the Bali bombing. It’s like Cancun, but prettier, more relaxing, and finally, an even better place to get drunk and get laid on the beach.

Preteen hoes flourish at Mall of America; suburbia a hot recruitment post for pimps.

“The British are invading Normandy again, this time not to save it from tyranny but to buy it for themselves.”

And scary spy shit popping up again. Iran experts from the Pentagon (DoD spooks) meet up with shady liar and conduit from Iran-Contra scandal. Once can be explained as chance; but twice? And who’s leaking what? If it was really scandalous, they’d shut it down and I wouldn’t know about it – but obviously, I know. So either they’re incompetent, OR they’re playing games with someone.

Euro is a hit. Trading at around 1.30 to 1 American, it is a surprise success, lending prestige to its supporters as it raises continental trade and clears up economic confusion. England, in sore defense of its pound (under Blair, who is going to burn worse than Gray Davis out in Cali), is in a bad position – Ireland and Scotland have wholly capitulated to the euro (no more eire…close enough name though), and the British only cling to the pound by the Irish and Scottish – not to mention their hatred of Bush, who is supported by the Brbecause of patriotic reasons (in one article, this was compared to “strong military” in the U.S. Since Ireland and Scotland are enjoying booms after their acceptance of the euro, it’s with little wonder that I announce that the British WILL soon fall. Who’s going to keep away from making money? No one. As it is stuck in the middle of continental and floating Europe, this lone state will fall in soon enough. And the combined economic reasons, as well as genuine nationalistic hatred of England itish – will make Britons question their stubbornness. Fall in line. You’ll feel better.

Republican strategist: “Bush’s Magoo moment.” Mr. Magoo stumbles through accidents and always survives by dumb luck.

Not only Saddam and Al-Qaida (who seem to have no link now, as it seems – German records show that there was little evidence and a very tenuous link between this guy Zarqawi of Al-Qaeda and supposed connections to Saddam, because Zarqawi was treated medically in Baghdad one hot day; of course, this was pulled by Powell and presented to the Security Council as hard info, though the real records show nothing of the sort): we have someone new to blame for continuing American casualties down there in Iraq. A new player, al-Jamiya al-Salafiya al-Mujahida, an obscure jihadi group.

Peace Ambassadors (some of whom are Inglewood residents) calm racial tensions after failure to convict in a white cop beating of black teen case. Wow. No Rodney King this time around. No LA riots, no burning buildings, no looting and rampages…

The House of Reps votes to give US consumers access to US made drugs that are sold more cheaply in Canada and overseas. This is good, yet bad at the same time. Drug companies will lose a lot of revenue because now they have to sell so cheaply, reducing the motivation to create better drugs. However, we can get treated cheaper – with only drugs that are available now, of course. We might not have too many new ones in future. (Lots of crime involved here though: drug companies might not have to continue their inveterate espionage, brutality tactics and strong arming of native cultures with herb medicinal knowledge, and drug smugglers running cancer meds across the border won’t have so much business)

Reporter buys fake ID from big Russian who speakee no English; has all things required (DOB, for us, fo’ sure) but hologram says “genuine”. Haha. On back, it says “card data supported by truth pledge”. As if that would stop someone. Reporter then uses card to enter high security Time-Life building, then even higher security JFK Airport (which had those guys wash up 400 feet from the runway without any security people noticing them till after they were playing around by the planes), and finally, to cashing a check. Tighter security in New York? Reporter proves his point.

A week or so ago, a building on 11th and Spruce had an electrical fire which promptly burned the entire building, leaving only the structure standing but everything else entirely unusable, as well as having a whole chunk ripped out of it. Thirty tenants were left with nothing and need new places to stay; two girls who just moved in before the fire lost everything (they were on the same floor as the fire start location). An area covering 20 blocks or so was blocked off for a while pending decisions on what to do and when to do, as well as how to do. News from Jen, leasing agent and humany sympathizer extraordinaire.

Bush declares Illinois student (a Qatari) an enemy combatant. First, Justice files criminal charges against him. A high priced law firm comes back at them, paid by Qatar. Then – where it all becomes very very much obvious that Bush is running a police state (along with Guantanamo Bay, where no word comes out of – ever. That’s still in Cuba too, where Fidel is still buddy buddy wink wink with Bush even through his gross human rights violations), this kid is thrown into a military brig in Charleston. Held indefinitely, with no access to lawyers or opportunity to contest charges against him. Are we still in a time of war? Because that’s what you do in times of war, in the place of war – run military kangaroo tribunals and summary judgments. But we are out of war, as Bush has said many times, and we are still in America. Terrorist he might be, but with no access to anything that could help establish if he was guilty or innocent (beyond the “suppressed evidence”), he’s been pronounced guilty, and destined for the chair with no possibility of return.

In another police state story, Faris – another accused “sleeper agent” like the Illinois guy – was “implicated” by the September 11 mastermind but never charged, whereupon he suddenly disappeared. Communications with friends and relatives stopped, he never showed for traffic court (he had parking tickets), and his phone number was deactivated. Speculation from this point on: he is in “limbo detention” with a small number of other terrorist suspects. This is done, supposedly, to limit interference from lawyers and the public (shady enough as this reason is….no chance for defense at all). They are being strongly encouraged to cut deals and snitch on their friends. Strongly encouraged? We’ll up the voltage on your balls if you don’t sign, Mr. Faris. Ow, ow, ok, stop, I want my mommy. They say that these guys are technically free to go, but not really. What does that mean? This is America, again, and people are innocent until proven guilty. But in Ashcroft’s eyes, we are all guilty until proven innocent. And even then, we are still guilty. His reasoning? Prevention of future crimes (hint of Pre-Crime etc.). We all have the capabilities to be future criminals, so of course anybody we find within our scope – they’re guilty. Or they will be.

Humanitarian intervention in Liberia? Where it’s needed? And don’t tell me we can’t. We went into Iraq to help the good guys in the Middle East out, right? Or was that joke “I need your help getting all that Iraqi oil for me” letter really true?

So this just in – An Evening with Joe: Stalin the Musical, is appearing at the Edinburgh Fringe Festival, written and directed by Cambridge student James Stevens. Songs include the Gulag Rag, Mrs. Stalin Regrets and Sweet Stalin, I’m In Love Again! This seems to be really funny, and not without reason, it’s being lambasted and drawn up as rather too cheery support for Stalin, that mad Russian who was our ally in World War II. Stevens notes that they’re missing the point. In not so many words, he tells the public that Stalin is much funnier than Hitler, because Stalin was a way better mass murderer. Even we’re afraid to blacken his name now.

The Daily Express, a London tabloid, reports that “William the deer killer sparks fury.” Apparently he can not only cause preteen girls to keel over at the mere sight of his royal personage, but also vanquish small antelopes in the Kenyan wilderness merely by – oh wait, he cheated. He used a spear.

Ben Affleck: “In fact, probably after the towering success of ‘Gigli,’ I suspect Miramax will find a way to sell it as other than a ‘Me-and-Jen’ movie.”

Ooh, ooh. Another reason not to drink those crazy Chinese and African home medicines…”folk remedy may raise cholesterol, not lower it.”

Now I know what happened to Steve! Researchers recently discovered a correlation between patients being treated with a Parkinson’s drug and a sudden compulsive gambling habit. As soon as these guys stopped getting the drug, they immediately changed their address from Atlantic City to debtor’s prison and filing Chapter 7’s in local court.

Penn students less likely to get Alzheimer’s disease. Everybody except Whartonites, that is. Keeping the mind active protects against the debilitating disease – more intelligent and better educated people use their brains differently than farmboys from Iowa and their relatives.
Amanda wanted to go to Sweden for study abroad? Why not Denmark? They’ve got a newly opened driverless subway. They’ve got Hans Christian Andersen. They’ve got huge flower gardens. They’ve got a gazillion hours of sunlight. They have Christiania (hippie town in an abandoned military barracks, created in 1971 by flower power Danes pushing nudity, free mary jane and no rules), the first country to legalize pornography then follow that up with a widely celebrated international sex fair. They’ve got hot Nordic chicks who smuggle themselves across the border from Sweden. Their guys aren’t all porn stars with bushy mustaches. And – they have a figurehead queen (Marguerite) that everyone actually loves. Wow.

Try North Korea. They are open to tourism, but, according to Lonely Planet, “if you’re from the U.S. or South Korea you can pretty much forget about it.” Trips cost around $2000, and obviously, things are a little tight. No pictures of slave labor, no making Kim Sr. or Kim Jr. look like the perverts and crazy dictators that somehow, maddeningly, stabilized North Korea and depressed the population so that even though they’re all starving, none of them want to rebel and all the money is still spent on buying nuclear weapons. And tour guides for the silly tourists who might get thrown in jail for 10 years for something ridiculous – like poor Mohammed something-or-other who returned home to Iran and was arrested and thrown in jail for 50 days or so by Islamic clerics, for the crime of gyrating on straight-to-video (and satellite TV, on rare occasions) that Islamic women are buying by the ton.

Ooh, more problems with the “Axis of Evil”. For some reason, Cuba ain’t on this list, though they’ve been the Communist nation closest to our borders all through the Cold War, almost provoked a nuclear war between us and Russia… The rest comes with more Bush complicity (another reason to question Bush’s wisdom in international politics). The many Cuban Air Force pilots who shot down American planes in international air space were never sought after by the Bush government. Jamming of US broadcasts to Iran (Iran rears its ugly head again) have not been protested, though the jamming comes from the Iranian Embassy in Havana which cannot operate without the complicity of Cuba. American citizens, by a Bush order, cannot sue foreign speculators who profit off of stolen American properties in Cuba. A Cuban arrested for skyjacking was denied permission to testify in his defense that he feared for his life if he surrendered to Castro. And then the final straw. The 12 Cubans who hijacked a boat to come over to America were not given a chance for a trial – by secret agreement with Castro, the 12 were immediately given ten years jail time. The all important Florida vote was won by Bush because of the Cuban American voter turnout – and I think he just lost their support. Thanks to Creative Collective.

Now for some problems with real Axis countries. For the record, I oppose the title Axis of Evil, but it’s useful to get at what I’m trying to say. One of the human shields who went to Iraq to protest and stop the American war effort (which I hold in extreme contempt, seeing that all the proof – as supported by at least three sources in Britain, including that dead guy and the reporters – that Iraq had WMD’s were just bullshit… and that we are spending more money, losing more men and angering the Iraqis and the rest of the world more than what happened in Gulf War I) is now being aggressively pursued by the Justice Department for non-payment of thousands of dollars in government fines, all of which she refuses to pay. If she continues, the officials say, the fine will increase and the money taken from her retirement paycheck, Social Security and her assets, forcibly. Now put up your hands if this is grossly unfair. I think the US is trying to make a pariah out of this woman, in the hopes that we will learn a lesson if we cross our government. 1) She didn’t do any overt violent actions against the government. All her “actions” were words and mere presence. Apparently, it’s illegal for her to go to Iraq when the government says so. Other than my opinion that the war was and stil lis wholly unjustified, why do they pursue this old lady, who wasn’t even actively helping the enemy? 2) We have our rights. Unfortunately, Bush and Rumsfeld and Ashcroft have improved on our National Security Statutes so much so that anything I say and do can and will be used against me because the government can do anything under the guise of national security. And then, not have to tell you, ever, because it’s National Security. So, our rights under the Declaration and the Constitution are not really our rights. But that’s ok – I can survive the present. I can see, though, how easily the Bush government’s “progress” can be twisted and abused.

Caligula was really a crazy old coot. New evidence shows that Caligula utilized the Temple as part of his palace, saying “I live with the gods. To get to them, you must pass me.” (in paraphrase of someone else).

You can’t cancel the spam you receive through Ticketmaster, when you buy tickets.

All the big companies send spam – they do it by hiring lead generators or affiliates, who outsource the spamming so that no dirtiness touches their hands. The solution to spam? Everyone in the world has to stop replying to them, then it would be very unprofitable to send any at all. After all, the spam only makes our email services more expensive or slower, makeas the ISP’s rich (who charge for traffic) and makes the big companies subtly richer.

Shortage of monkeys. We’re gonna have to recruit all those incoming freshmen now… but seriously, scientists are running out of rhesus macaques to test out new drugs and therapies on. Please donate yourself to science.

I read a Clive Cussler book called Blue Gold the other day. The madman in the book takes control of the world’s water because she knows there will be a water shortage..then, I read this. 2 million tons of waste are dumped into our water sources every year, and 7 million people eventually die of waterborne diseases. On top of all of this, a half century will see the entire current world population count suffering from water scarcity.

The ultimate prank. Put a virus on someone’s computer that downloads porn (and worse, child porn) and illegal materials before sending it to everyone on their mailing list. It makes the unwitting computer user look guilty and really screw around with proving guilt when web surfing is in the picture.

Denver, Colorado. A city with some really retarded people. Take Jeff Peckman. he collected 2500 signatures on a petition that asked the city to do more to reduce stress, which forced city council to either implement the measure right away or get the city to vote. The city is going to vote, and council members are complaining. I would. What the hell is the city going to do? Solve all my problems? ALlt he taxes in the world wouldn’t do that. Playing mood music in the park? I’d get pissed at the bad music selection and shoot out the speakers. Free yoga? Bunch of pansies in office. I’d vote them out, after taking a free yoga class. Peckman, in support of his petition, said “give peace a chance.” What the hell does that have to do with his petition? What did I say? Retarded. Yup.

One last thing. RIAA is going to now sue student downloaders despite fear of PR backlash. They think that by making an example of a poor unwitting student who will be scarred for the rest of his life by huge fines and jail time, a newly minted criminal record and no possibility of getting a good job, all for something that the rest of society has accepted. Our society is described as a democracy, yet it is actually a republic, where representatives do most of the decision making for us, in our best interests, rather than us doing it directly. We are built as a capitalistic society – yet, we support the Democrats (I do too) and offer a lot of human services, thus defeating the capitalist ideals. So what’s the big deal? It’s not like we’re really in support of the “let the artist not suffer.” The artists that deserve attention get the attention, and we still buy the artists whom we truly love. The ones that we don’t really love but just want to have, we download and “steal”. This is stealing from the recording companies they say. The artist already makes so little because the recording company steals most of it away. And for those that actually do see most of the money? They make too much! So really, it’s just lower profits for the recording industry to take home. Don’t tell me the artist needs all that money; it never makes it all the way there. Personally, I am a hardened criminal. Along with every single one of my friends, I have taken part in this “criminal” enterprise, and along with everyone under 40, have become thus sueable, if the RIAA can poke out every one of us. If one of my friends becomes a pariah to the RIAA, I would be very mad. Mad enough to start an organization to fight the RIAA and expose the hypocritical nature of society’s stance. Music should be free – we create it, we listen to it, we enjoy it. When we feel it is warranted, we pay. But do we shoot the people that climb in trees to watch concerts from farther away? No. They merely have an obstructed view.

And ClearChannel is way too big. Megacorporations are somehow… wrong. There is just something scary about huge monopolies. Comcast is another, as is AOL Time Warner. All this concentrated media power; we can get brainwashed without realizing it. I know I am fooled most of the time.